Wedding Thank You Etiquette

Wedding thank you is a broad category because it involves thanking guests for attending the reception through the distribution of wedding favors, as well as, thanking those individuals who were gracious and thoughtful enough to send gifts with follow-up notes. In addition, prior to the actual wedding day, there will be plenty of reasons to thank others. For example, a thank you for bridal shower gifts, a thank you for helping with planning the wedding, and thank you to show appreciation for the wedding party members, and lastly, engagement party gifts.

Indeed, all gifts need to be recognized with a wedding thank you card, note or memo. Even if you hand out small trinket favors at your bridal showers, you are still expected to thank each person with a lovely note after the fact. But, how you choose to write your notes, and on what type of paper, is a very personal action. For instance, you may decide to purchase printed cards that match your invitations, or you might make your own design on the computer using sheets of paper rather than card stock. Blank dollar store cards make beautiful thank you notes, as well.

One area, though, that I feel needs mentioning, is the fact that you should always say something personal, no matter how brief, and you should acknowledge the actual gift. I believe that you should take the extra time and effort and appear as though you appreciated the thought and the gifts, and you will enjoy them. Specifically, if you use pre-printed cards, have the common courtesy to add the following in your own handwriting.

• At the top of the card, write, “Dear So and So”
• After the printed verse, write something about the gift such as “The yellow hand towels were lovely. They will certainly go with our brown bathroom design”. This could also be written on the left-hand side blank section, especially if you have more to say.
• At the bottom of the card, sign your name.

While I am speaking about things couples should not do, I would like to briefly discuss emails and your wedding thank you. There seems to be a growing trend where brides and grooms wonder if it is acceptable to obtain email addresses to send thank you notes. I really think that it is improper to ask for addresses. Yes, you may need to scrimp on your budget by avoiding the purchase of postage stamps, but this is not the appropriate way to save money. First, sending a generic thank you to everyone is just plain rude. Second, as I have stated earlier, show appreciation, not apathy and disinterest.

An exception to this would be a scenario were you already has someone's email address, such as an aunt with whom you regularly communicate. In that case, you might email to say the package had arrived and whether you have opened it or not. At least this way, the person is not worrying about whether you received the item. But, later when you send out the hand written notes, you can say how much you loved her gift.

Another reason brides and grooms might like to send a wedding thank you is to recognize those who helped with the wedding in a significant way. Possibly, a friend or family member allowed them the use of a fancy vehicle to travel from the church to the reception hall; maybe others took time out their busy schedules to decorate the hall; and finally several individuals may have been responsible for cooking or baking for various wedding parties or events in the couple's honor.

Of course, the wedding thank you that will require the most thought are the favors you give away at the reception. You will undoubtedly want something that expresses your personality, co-ordinates with your theme or decorations, fits your budget, and is appropriate to all the guests.

©2004-2011 This article is copyright Talitha Welgan. It is NOT available for republication.